


I can't fall asleep

by JakeRainbownesess



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10969845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JakeRainbownesess/pseuds/JakeRainbownesess
Summary: Marshall looked at Lily's back while she exited the bar, with a bitter taste in his mouth...Now in bed looking at the window Marshall couldn't sleep, so he kept repeating the moment on a loop, wondering where everything went wrong.





	I can't fall asleep

**Author's Note:**

> Bits and pieces of memories in Marshall's head, thoughts that haunt him in the darkest parts of the night, questions he thought he had laid down to rest, they keep him awake at night.

_The sheets felt hot in Marshall's legs, enough to make him uncomfortable, enough to keep him awake. But there were other reasons Marshall couldn't sleep, a doubt he had, it was sitting there, in the back of his mind, depriving him from tiredness, he just wanted to know, when..._

"Everything started in MacLaren's, it was 10 pm and Marshall already had a beer in his hand, these days he felt that a beer was necessary to get through the day, Barney was there too, he was talking about her stripper girlfriend again. But Marshall wasn't listening, his attention was fixed in Ted, who was having a conversation with a girl on the other side of the bar, Marshall saw everything, how Ted smiled nervously, while he tried to find a way to win a smile on his favor. Marshall saw the girl writing something on a piece of paper, and a triumphant Ted walking towards them, Marshall saw his smile and the way his eyes gleamed with something special, it was that look of hope he got every time he started a new relationship, something was building up in Marshall's throat, but a quick sip of his beer washed it away.  
\- Well, well, look who just got a hot chicks number-said Ted. While pointing at himself- this guy.  
\- Score- Barney raised his hand for a high-five.  
Then something amazing happened, Ted actually high-five'd Barney, the feeling came again and this time it left Marshall's throat.  
\- She's at a bar at 10 am, she's not a big deal.  
Ted paused for a moment before replying.  
\- She seemed nice- slowly, he looked at the ground and Marshall felt a pang of guilt on his chest.  
Barney had gone quiet but in that moment he chose to speak up.  
\- Hey man, we know you've been having a rough couple of days.  
\- What? No, I'm fine, everything's fine.  
As soon as he said those words he realized how fake they felt, he took another sip of the bottle, only to find it was empty  
\- Wow guys, I think I need another drink- He was standing up to get another one when Ted's hand grabbed his wrist, he stopped and turned his eyes towards Ted, there was something weird in them, he looked cautious, like if any sudden movement would create a catastrophe.  
\- We know you've been sad, we understand if you don't want to talk about it.  
Marshall understood then, _they know_. He didn't think they would realize he wasn't wearing his engagement ring.  
\- Thanks guys, I'm... I'm sorry for being a jerk.  
Ted gave him a smile.  
\- So, what do you say if we go out tonight? Just us guys, relax,have a couple of beers, How does that sound?  
\- I'm game -said Barney.  
Marshall felt reluctant, he just wanted to spend some time alone, but it had been so long since they had hung out he also felt the need to get back on track. Maybe that was the only way to get over, over everything.  
Ted's touch on his wrist was so gentle that Marshall hadn't realized Ted's hand was still there, his heart jumped a little and he felt the need to grab the beer and take a sip, it was so instinctive that even tough Marshall only wanted to keep Ted's hand exactly were it was, Ted realized his hand was still there and removed it, Marshall's face felt hot and he looked away to avoid any more eye contact, but at the corner of his eye, he could see a blushing Ted."

_When did I..._

"Later that night, Marshall was walking in the street when he saw Ted, he couldn't help but smile.  
\- Hey man!- Said Marshall.  
\- Oh, hi Marshall! -Ted hugged him- I'm so glad you could came.  
\- Me too, where's Barney?- he asked.  
\- Uh, I think he is not coming -Ted shuffled on his feet- So maybe it's just you and me, what do you say?.  
Marshall couldn't believe his luck, he smiled and said- Yeah man, it's fine.  
It was amazing, they changed the plans a little bit because of Barney's absence, and saying a little bit means they changed everything, they went to see a movie and rode the subway to places they had never gone to just for the pleasure of it, and somehow they ended up sitting on a bench on Central Park at 1 am looking at the stars.  
\- But I mean, if monkeys had wings, wouldn't they be more evolved than us? -asked Ted  
Marshall snorted- What they would be is extinct, or at least more endangered than they are now.  
He had to stop for a moment to process what he said, and he felt a wave of sadness creep into his body, he had been fighting this case to save another weird endangered species for almost about a month now, and it had taken a toll on him, tomorrow was the last day of the trial and he felt that he had lost the battle, another battle.  
Ted's hand on his wrist snapped him out of his trance.  
-Hey, it's going to be ok -he rubbed his thumb in circles against Marshall's arm- I know how hard you've been fighting for this case, whatever happens, I'm here.  
Marshall's eyes met Ted's, his gaze was sincere, it made him feel at peace.  
He nodded- I know, it's just, after the divorce and Lily taking Marvin, I... I need to know I still have something good in my life, that I can get back up, I need that.  
Ted sighed and put his arm around Marshall.  
-Everything's going to be okay Marshall, I know, I know it doesn't seem like it, when I first divorced Barney, I didn't know what to do, I didn't just lose a husband, I lost one of my best friends, my partner in crime, sometimes you think that you can get back on track right away, be friends with them, still work everything out, but that is a lie, a lie because you don't give yourself time to heal, you just fake to be happy instead of acknowledging that you're sad, and that's a big mistake Marshall, let yourself be sad, let your soul mourn -Ted hugged him- just remember I'll be here every step of the way, I won't let you fall alone, and when you are ready to feel better, I'll be here too.  
Marshall's face felt wet, he didn't know he was crying, until he was."

_When did he..._

"Marshall was calling Ted, the phone in one hand, a glass of liquor on the other, using the phone had taken several tries, and after several wrong calls and a really interesting call with what he thinks was a Chinese woman, Ted finally answered his phone.  
-Hi?  
-Heeeey, Ted, how is my best friend doing?-  
-It's one in the morning Marshall -said Ted barely containing a yawn- Are you ok mate?  
The line was silent for some time until Marshall finally spoke again.  
-We lost the case.  
He didn't think those words would hurt as much as they did, he sipped his glass.  
\- Alright, I'm coming over.  
Thirty minutes later there was a knock on the door, Ted was wearing his pajamas while he stormed into the room.  
-Ok so I got the console and your favorite basketball video game, I brought some ice cream...  
Ted was cut off by a soul crushing hug form Marshall with a series of quick drunk apologies that he just brushed off with a smile.  
-This is what all good friends would do -he shrugged off- So, what do you want to do?  
-Is it okay of we just... cuddle? I'm tired and the alcohol is starting to take a toll on me, I need someone to hug.  
Ted gulped, a knot had formed on his throat, he felt nervous about Marshall being drunk already, he could get a little handsy, Ted knew he was putting himself in thin ice there, but the rush of excitement was passing through his body and he could only mutter a weak -Yes.  
The trip to Marshall's bedroom was a little complicated, several times Ted had to stop Marshall from going to the kitchen or the bathroom instead of his actual bedroom, Marshall was still on his suit.  
\- Help me out Ted, I need to get out of this thing.  
Ted sat him on the bed, and he started removing his shoes, then his suit, and one by one, the buttons on his shirt, he was so nervous his fingers were trembling and he was taking too long, until a pair of hands took his wrists and gently put them aside.  
\- Now it's my turn -said Marshall.  
Slowly but surely Marshall's hands trailed down Ted's back, coming to a halt on his hips, were they stayed for a moment, Marshall gripped the black haired boy's hips making him moan, Marshall took this opportunity to finally kiss Ted. Things started moving faster from that moment, when their boxers were the only thing separating their bodies and Marshall was biting on Ted's neck, was when Ted could finally get his brain to work with him to ask:  
\- M-Ma-Marshall -Ted pulled away- Are you sure this is okay?  
Marshall stopped for a second to look at Ted, his doe eyes, the way the blush colored his cheeks, traced his neck and his collarbones, the way his erection showed in his underwear, the feeling of his legs wrapped around Marshall's hips, Marshall's dick making friction every time Ted's ass grinded against his body. He came back to look at Ted's eyes.  
\- Yes, I'm sure -he guided Ted's hand to his back, and put it were his raging hard-on was- I've always wanted this, you.  
Ted smiled again, his eyes darkened with desire and he attacked Marshall's lips once again.  
Every sound and feeling was bliss, the way he cupped Ted's ass in his two hands, with a final pull, they were both naked, and Marshall reclined himself in the bed while Ted sucked on his nipple, ad made his way down, until the softness of his mouth enveloped his dick, Marshall moaned and grabbed Ted's head, guiding him down and up until Marshall announced:  
\- I'm... I'm going to cum.  
He thought Ted would stop, but instead, he kept going faster, the sensation was so strong that he came harder than he expected.  
When Marshall finally came form his high he flipped them over and started playing with Ted's hard on, stroking it, sucking it, playing with his nipples, always stopping when he sensed Ted was going to cum, only to stop. This was torture for Ted, but he enjoyed the attention he was getting.  
-Please Marshall, just, let me cum -he begged.  
Marshall, which at that time was sucking on Ted's dick, smiled and kept going, assuming the answer Ted started bucking his hips at the rhythm, until he felt he was about to burst, then he pulled Marshall's head off and started jacking off, until he came big jets of cum into Marshall's face.  
After that, they cleaned up and went to sleep, Ted had never slept as well as he did that night, and Marshall could say the same.  
Marshall woke up with a hangover and his best friend in his bed, it took him some excruciatingly long seconds to remember what had happened, he ran into the bathroom to not have a panic attack and wake up Ted. He took the opportunity to take some pills for the headache.  
He remembered all the details, with a blushing face he started smiling, it had been a while since that had happened.  
When he got out of the bathroom he found Ted walking on his toes while trying to open the apartment door.  
\- Ted, what are you doing?  
Ted was so startled he let the pile of clothes he was carrying fly through the air, Marshall couldn't help but laugh and pick them up.  
\- So... Breakfast? -He proposed.  
\- Umm, yeah, breakfast is good -replied Ted.  
The awkward silence was deafening, Marshall wanted it to end, but he didn't know what to say, until Ted finally spoke up.  
\- Look man, I know what happened yesterday was just a drunken accident, you don' need to worry about that, you know? I get it, you were sad and you needed a little help, it's totally ok we can let this slide and...  
\- Ted...  
\- I mean, you're not even gay or bi, surely we don't need to worry about it, we don't need to talk about...  
\- Ted...  
\- Like, can you imagine? you and me, that'd be just weeeir-  
\- TED! -The other boy went quiet, Marshall took his hands in a sweet gesture and kissed them- Last night was the most amazing night I've had in a long time, it made me realize how much I actually care about you, I know you think yesterday was just momentary, but for me, it made me realize that I want you to be part of my life not only as my best friend, but also, as my boyfriend, so, will you go out with me?  
Ted was speechless for a moment, he gasped for air.  
\- Yes -a huge grin appeared on both their faces as they kissed."

_And then Marshall understood something, one of those realizations that come in the middle of the night, none of those things matter, it doesn't matter when he started to feel attracted to Ted, if it was when he held his hand at the pub, or when in college he confessed to him that he was bi, or that moment is his wedding with Barney when he smiled at him from the altar and said - You made it! - The thing that mattered is that he found his light in a dark time of his life, and he found someone that loved him the same way. Since that moment, Marshall stopped caring about the How's and the When's and decided to feel grateful for the beautiful husband he how had. So he turned around on the bed, tangled his legs with the cold ones of his lover, hugged him and smelled the crane of his neck, and went to sleep with his little ray of sunshine._

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, I wasn't planning on writing smut, now I get how hard it is!  
> Thank you for reading, please leave a comment c:  
> Also, I kind of killed Robin because we all know that while the Scherbatsky exists no relationship Ted has will be safe lol


End file.
